Maxwell quotes

This page lists Maxwell's Quotes which are spoken when the player examines an in-game item or object. The player can shift-click items and objects to examine them.

Tools
Axe- "Sometimes the direct approach is best."

Luxury Axe- "It gets sharper with every cut."

Shovel- "This is some real advanced techology."

Regal Shovel- "This shovel is worth a princely sum."

Pickaxe- "Everybody loves a little mining."

Opulent Pickaxe- "This must be game logic."

Razor- "If only the world had a single neck."

Razor (can't shave)- "If only the world had a single neck."

Razor (nothing left)- "If only the world had a single neck."

Razor (Shaving a waken beefalo)- "I'm not going to try that while he's awake."

Hammer- "It feels good to undo the work of others."

Pitchfork- "The tool of choice for perfectionists."

Lights
Campfire (upon being built)- "Sure beats darkness."

Campfire (high)- "That will keep Charlie away for now."

Campfire (normal)- "Firey."

Campfire (low)- "It needs fuel."

Campfire (embers)- "I'm going to lose it."

Campfire (burned out)- "That's not coming back."

Fire Pit (upon being built)- "Sure beats darkness."

Fire Pit (high)- "A roaring fire."

Fire Pit (normal)- "It's hot."

Fire Pit (low)- "It's getting low."

Fire Pit (embers)- "I should attend to that."

Fire Pit (burned out)- "It's gone cold."

Miner Hat- "Eventually the firefly will starve."

Pumpkin lantern- "Why hello, Mr. Crane."

Torch- "It keeps Charlie at bay."

Survival
Backpack- "I wish there were porters around here."

Piggyback- "Oh that's just demeaning."

Bird Trap- "They keep falling for it!"

Bug Net- "Good for capturing defenseless insects."

Fishing Rod- "I will eat for a lifetime."

Healing Salve- "Just a bit of venom and some dirty old ash."

Honey Poultice- "Sticky and gooey and good for putting on booboos."

Strawroll- "I don't like sleeping rough."

Tent- "That's a bit rustic for my taste."

Trap- "Only the dumbest animals will fall for this."

Food
Crock Pot

Crock Pot- "Just the thought makes my mouth water."

Crock Pot (cooking, long time left)- "Wait for it..."

Crock Pot (cooking, short time left)- "Here it comes!"

Crock Pot (finished)- "Finally, some quality grub."

Farms

Farm Plot, Speedy Farm Plot and Turbo Farm Plot- "Do I look like a farmer?"

Farm Plot, Speedy Farm Plot and Turbo Farm Plot (growing)- "It's growing."

Farm Plot, Speedy Farm Plot and Turbo Farm Plot (needs fertilizer)- "

Ice Box- "A little piece of winter in a box."

Science
Science Machine- "I can't believe I forgot how to build these things."

Alchemy Engine- "It unlocks recipies of middling utility."

Shadow Manipulator- "This is where I do my own personal research."

Winter-O-Meter- "Not the most useful invention, is it?"

Rainometer- "I could also just look up to learn the same thing."

Lighting Rod- "A little bit of protection."

Gunpowder- "Now this, I like."

Fight

Spear- "It's a spear. Yup."

Ham Bat- "An undignified weapon for a less refined time."

Boomerang- "It's a... thing."

Blow Dart- "It's a... thing."

Sleep Dart- "Call me Mr. Sandman."

Fire Dart- "Just make sure to breathe out."

Football Helmet- "Now I am ready for the scrimmage."

Grass Suit- "Direct confrontation is quite gauche."

Logsuit- "Ugh, I'm not one for such vulgar fisticuffs."

Marble Suit- "That really isn't my style."

Bee Mine- "They wait so patiently."

Tooth Trap- "This one packs a whallop."

Structures
Bee Box

Bee Box- "It holds my bees."

Birdcage

Birdcage- "You'll never get me behind bars again."

Birdcage (occupied)- "I feel for ya, feathers."

Birdcage (occupied, sleeping)- "You'll still be in there when you wake up."

Pig House

Pig House- "That's like their only trick."

Pig House (occupied and lights are off)- "I'll huff and I'll puff!"

Pig House (occupied and lights are on)- "I'd go inside too, if I was him."

Walls

Hay Wall (inventory)- "Pocket-sized wall pieces. Yep."

Hay Walls (placed)- "It's a tinderbox."

Wood Wall (inventory)- "Pocket-sized wall pieces. Yep."

Wood Wall (placed)- "Moderately tough, but flammable!"

Stone Wall (inventory)- "Pocket-sized wall pieces. Yep."

Stone Wall (placed)- "This will keep the riff-raff out."

Chest- "A place to store loot."

Sign- "It says... nothing."

Cobblestones- "At least this one is useful."

Wooden Flooring- "I prefer hardwoods."

Checkerboard Flooring- "That's my natural habitat."

Carpet Flooring- "That's a quality, high-pile carpet sample!"

Refine
Rope- "You'd think this would have more uses."

Boards- "Roughly hewn."

Cut Stone- "The building blocks of civilization."

Papyrus- "A blank canvas."

Purple Gem- "Purple brings great power."

Nightmare Fuel- "Ahhh. Refreshing."

Magic
Meat Effigy- "I'm not above using this."

Pan Flute- "I'm going to sing a song of madness."

Amulet- "It channels the darkest energies of the universe."

One-man Band- "It has a good beat and you can dance to it."

Night Light- "It burns with a beautiful glow."

Night Armour- "Time to wrap myself in nightmares."

Dark Sword- "Snicker-snap!"

Ice staff- "It's a... thing."

Dress
Strawhat- "A hat fit for a peasant."

Beefalo Hat- "How unfashionable."

Beekeeper Hat- "I'll wear it if I have to."

Feather Hat- "I will lure them in with my plumage."

Winter Hat- "How disappointingly rustic."

Top Hat- "Some fine haberdashery."

Walking Stick- "It has pictures of fast things carved into it."

Dapper Vest- "It's a... thing."

Breezy Vest- "It's more of a fall vest."

Puffy Vest- "It's so hard to look fashionable in the winter."

Bush Hat- "There's room in there for me."

Garland- "Definetly not my style."

Rabbit Earmuffs- "They are at least warm."

Sewing Kit- "A fine and noble endeavour."

Nature - Plants
Evergreen

Evergreen- "I've heard them described as 'piney'."

Evergreen (chopped)- "That's not about to grow back."

Evergreen (burning)- "Oops."

Evergreen (burnt)- "Ashes to ashes."

Log- "It's a piece of wood, what more is there to say?"

Log (burning)- "Well, that was fun while it lasted."

Charcoal- "Nothing will steal my carbon!"

Pinecone- "A more outdoorsy type might be able to make something of this."

Baby Evergreen "A more outdoorsy type might be able to make something of this."

Spiky Tree

Spiky Tree- "A tree with a foul demeanor."

Spiky Tree (chopped)- "Tree 0, Maxwell 1."

Spiky Tree (burning)- "There it goes."

Spiky Tree (burnt)- "It's no use to anyone now."

Lumpy Evergreen 

Lumpy Evergreen- "It looks sickly."

Sapling

Sapling- "A supple, woody stem."

Sapling (picked)- "It'll grow back."

Sapling (burning)- "Oops."

Sapling (picked up)- "Do I look like a gardener?"

Twigs- "Common, but useful."

Grass

Grass- "Tufty."

Grass (picked)- "Already harvested."

Grass (barren)- "Needs manure."

Grass (burning)- "Oops."

Grass Tuft- "Do I look like a gardener?"

Cut Grass- "The mundane stuff of the earth."

Berry Bush

Berry Bush- "Reduced to eating berries. Sigh."

Berry Bush (picked)- "And now we wait."

Berry Bush (barren)- "It needs manure."

Berry Bush (picked up)- "Do I look like a gardener?"

Reeds

Reeds- "There's wind in them there willows."

Reeds (picked)- "No more tubes."

Reeds (burning)-."Oops."

Cut reeds- "I think I could build something useful from this."

Plant

Plant- "Leafy!"

Plant (growing)- "It's growing."

Plant (ready to be picked)- "It's ready."

Marsh Plant- "What a generic little plant."

Spiky bush- "It's twisted and thorny, just like me!"

Flower- "I am filled with the irrational urge to stomp upon it."

Nature - Objects
Bee hive

Bee Hive- "Not the bees!"

Honeycomb- "It's full of bee seeds"

Boulder

Boulder- "It's a rock."

Rocks- "Hmmm. Now what do I do with them?"

Flint- "Ow! I cut my finger!."

Gold Nugget- "This was important to me once."

Nitrite- "One third of the way there..."

Graves

Headstone (1)- "It says milk. Eggs. Bacon."

Headstone (2)- "Here lies some guy. Blah blah blah."

Headstone (3)- "Hey, that's my name!"

Headstone (4)- "This headstone is blank."

Grave- "What lies beneath?"

Grave (dug)- "Already got that one."

Koalefant tracks

Suspicious Dirt Pile- "That looks out-of-place."

Animal Tracks- "Some dumb beast passed through here."

Wooden thing

Wooden Thing- "My beautiful machine is in pieces!"

Wooden Thing (partially assembled)- "It is still incomplete."

Wooden Thing (fully assembled)- "It's alive!"

Ring Thing- "This is the quantum field guard band."

Crank Thing- "This is used to agitate the humours."

Box Thing- "This is a box full of sadness and woe."

Metal Potato Thing- "The gears in here are so small they turn the fabric of reality."

Wormhole

Wormhole (closed)- "It's worse knowing what the other part looks like."

Wormhole (open)- "I can assure you that it smells worse than it looks."

Wormhole (exited)- "Yech. It's horrible in there."

Pond- "I can see my face reflected off the top."

Spider Den- "They grow big here."

Spider Egg- "Squishy."

Rabbit Hole- "There's a world going on under there."

Mobs - Monsters
Hounds

Hound- "They don't recognise me!"

Fire Hound- "I put fire gems in there as a joke."

Ice Hound- "I had a lot of surplus gems!"

Red gem- "Red brings fire."

Ice gem- "Blue brings ice."

Hound's Tooth- "It's a... thing."

Spiders

Spider- "It's mostly digestive system."

Spider (sleeping)- "Sssh! It will wake up hungry."

Spider (dead)- "Ewwww!"

Spider Warrior- "It's a specilized form."

Spider Warrior (sleeping)- "I don't want to wake that one."

Spider Warrior (dead)- "Good riddance!"

Silk- "Despite it's origin, it could make some fine garments."

Krampus

Krampus- "You won't catch me!"

Krampus Sack- "It's really light."

Tentacle

Tentacle- "I'm glad the rest of it is down there."

Tentacle Spike- "Ugh. This is so revolting."

Tentacle spots- "This is how they reproduce."

Werepig- "That one's gone feral."

Ghost- "It remembers me!"

Walrus

Mactusk- "Don't you recognise me?."

Weetusk- "A chip off the old block."

Walrus Camp- "The Walrusser can't be far."

Walrus Camp (Summer)- "I best not linger when winter comes."

Walrus Tusk- "I'll put this to better use."

Tam o' Shanter- "Made in Scotland."

Mosquito

Mosquito- "Bloody blood sucking blood suckers."

Mosquito (picked up)- "I got him."

Mobs - Neutral Animals
Beefalo

Beefalo- "Just look at that stupid beast."

Beefalo (sleeping)- "It's only marginally less stupid when it's asleep."

Beefalo (shaved)- "Now it looks dumb AND pathetic."

Beefalo Wool- "It smells like a barn."

Beefalo Horn- "Call forth the beasts!"

Baby Beefalo- "They're even ugly as children."

Bee

Bee- "They work so hard, the fools."

Bee (picked up)- "Now what do I do with it?"

Killer Bee- "What is that bee so angry about?"

Killer bee (picked up)- "I've caught a tiger by the tail."

Stinger- "It's dripping with venom."

Pig

Pig- "What a slobbering fool."

Pig (following)- "He's simple but he's mine."

Pig Skin- "It was him or me."

Frog

Frog- "It jumps and licks things."

Frog (sleeping)- "It looks tired."

Koalefant

Koalefant- "

Winter Koalefant- "It has it's winter coat on."

Mobs - Passive Animals
Butterfly

Butterfly- "It's a flying flower."

Butterfly (picked up)- "It would be a shame if someone ripped the wings off you."

Birds

Crow- "I don't know how they got here."

Crow (picked up)- "Shhhh... My pretty."

Crow Feather- "Black is the colour of sleep."

Redbird- "The redbird comes from the firelands."

Redbird (picked up)- "Silence, bird!"

Redbird Feather- "Red is the color of fire."

Snow bird- "I don't recognise that one."

Snowbird (picked up)- "It's so soft."

Snowbird Feather- "Grey is the colour of pain."

Gobbler-

Chester

Eye Bone- "Stop looking at me!"

Eye Bone (Chester dead, eye closed)-

Ashes of Eye Bone-

Chester- "Annoying little monster. He has his uses, though."

Rabbit

Rabbit- "I've been here too long - It actually looks tasty."

Rabbit (picked up)- "Don't worry, rabbit. Everything is under control."

Fireflies

Fireflies- "How pretty."

Fireflies (picked up)- "I could squish them if I wanted to."

Mandrake

Mandrake-

Mandrake (following)-

Mandrake (dead)-

Mandrake (cooked)-

Mobs - Tallbird family
Tallbird

Tallbird- These were a failed experiment.

Tallbird Nest (empty)- It's made of dirty beefalo hair.

Tallbird Nest (with egg)-

Tallbird egg

Tallbird Egg- Tallbirds are territorial because of these things.

Tallbird Egg (cooked)- It tastes like broken dreams.

Hatching Tallbird Egg- We've got a live one here.

Hatching Tallbird Egg (dead, eating the egg)- That tastes about as good as you would expect.

Hatching Tallbird Egg (too hot)- Hot enough for ya?

Hatching Tallbird Egg (too cold)- It's getting tepid.

Hatching Tallbird Egg (long time left)-

Hatching Tallbird Egg (short time left)-

Smallbird

Smallbird- What!? What do you want?

Smallbird (hungry)-

Smallbird (starving)-

Smallish Tallbird

Smallish Tallbird-

Smallish Tallbird (hungry)-

Smallish Tallbird (starving, attacking)-

Mobs - Bosses
Deerclops

Deerclops- "Even I am afraid of that guy."

Deerclops Eye- "Deerclops are myopic"

Treeguard (Leif)- "Disgusting creature!"

Spider Queen- "Maybe I'll just get out of her way."

Spider Hat- "Spiders have such malleable wills."

Mobs - Other
Maxwell- "Lookin good !"

Tooth trap (Maxwells)-

Beemine (Maxwells)-

Pig King- "That's a man with his priorities in order!"

Abigail- "Why just these mortals stay dead ?"

Food - Meats
Monster Meat- "How revolting."

Cooked Monster Meat- "I'll eat it if I have to."

Meat- "I'm used to much finer fare."

Cooked meat- "It smells less like barnyard,now."

Drumstick- "It tastes strangely like berries."

Fried Drumstick- "Still tastes like berries."

Fish- "Fresh from the murky depths."

Cooked Fish- "It still stinks"

Morsel- "This is barely a mouthful."

Cooked Morsel- "Well, at least it's not moving anymore"

Koalefant Trunk- "Full of summer mucus."

Winter Koalefant Trunk- "The trunk thickens in the winter to hold more mucus."

Koalefant Trunk Steak- "At least the mucus burned off."

Frog Legs- "Muscular."

Cooked Frog Legs- "Stringy."

Food - Fruits
Pomegranate-

Sliced Pomegranate-

Durian- "It's an aquired taste."

Extra Smelly Durian- "A little more refined, at least."

Dragon Fruit-

Prepared Dragon Fruit-

Berries- "Sigh, if I have to."

Roasted Berries- "A little more refined, at least"

Food - Vegetables
Corn-

Popcorn-

Carrot (in the ground)-

Carrot (picked up)-

Roasted Carrot-

Pumpkin-

Hot Pumpkin-

Eggplant-

Braised Eggplant-

Red Mushroom-

Green Mushroom-

Blue Mushroom-

Food - Crock Pot
Mandrake Soup-

Turkey Dinner-

Most recipes-

Food - Other
Seeds-

Seeds (carrot seeds, pumpkin seeds etc)-

Roasted Seeds-

Honey-

Petals-

Butterfly Wings-

Butter-

Rot-

Misc Items
Purple Gem-

Beard Hair-

Manure-

Graveyard Trinkets

Melty Marbles -

Fake Kazoo -

Gord's Knot -

Gnome -

Tiny Rocketship -

Frazzled Wires -

Ball and Cup -

Hardened Rubber Bung -

Mismatched Buttons -

Second-hand Dentures -

Lying robot -

Dessicated Tentacle -

Announcements
Generic-

Battlecry- To Arms!

Battlecry (on prey)-

Battlecry (Pig)-

Battlecry (Spider)-

Battlecry (Warrior Spider)-

Leaving combat-

Leaving combat (prey)-

Leaving combat (Pig)-

Leaving combat (Spider)-

Leaving combat (Spider warrior)-

Torch (run out)-

Boomerang (hit self)-

Dusk-

Entering light-

Entering darkness-

Doing things in the dark-

Failed to do something-

Failed to craft something-

Trying to sleep during the day-

Trying sleep near monsters-

Knocked out-

Bees-

Mosquitos-

Grue- Charlie? Is that you? It's me! Maxwell!

Grue(hurt by)-

Pecked-

Hound's are coming-

Inventory full-

Eating-

Eating (spoiled food)-

Eating (stale food)-

Eating (painful food)-

Hungry-

Exiting a Wormhole-

Koalefant (lost its trail)-

Koalefant (found)-