Maxwell quotes

This page lists Maxwell's quotes, which are spoken when the player examines an in-game object, or during certain in-game events. The player can alt-click items and objects to examine them.

TabTools.png

 * Axe.png Axe- "Sometimes the direct approach is best."
 * Luxury Axe.png Luxury Axe- "It gets sharper with every cut."
 * Shovel.png Shovel- "This is some real advanced technology."
 * Regal Shovel.png Regal Shovel- "This shovel is worth a princely sum."
 * Pickaxe.png Pickaxe- "Everybody loves a little mining."
 * Opulent Pickaxe.png Opulent Pickaxe- "This must be game logic."
 * Razor.png Razor- "If only the world had a single neck."
 * Razor.png Razor (can't shave)- "That's unshavable."
 * Razor.png Razor (nothing left)- "But it's already as smooth as a baby's rear end."
 * Razor.png Razor (shaving a waken beefalo)- "I don't think she'd take kindly to that."
 * Hammer.png Hammer- "It feels good to undo the work of others."
 * Pitchfork.png Pitchfork- "The tool of choice for perfectionists."

TabLight.pngs

 * Campfire1.png Campfire (upon being built)- "Sure beats darkness."
 * Campfire1.png Campfire (high)- "That will keep Charlie away for now."
 * Campfire1.png Campfire (normal)- "Firey."
 * Campfire1.png Campfire (low)- "It needs fuel."
 * Campfire1.png Campfire (embers)- "I'm going to lose it."
 * Campfire1.png Campfire (burned out)- "That's not coming back."
 * Firepit1.png Fire Pit (upon being built)- "Sure beats darkness."
 * Firepit1.png Fire Pit (high)- "A roaring fire."
 * Firepit1.png Fire Pit (normal)- "It's hot."
 * Firepit1.png Fire Pit (low)- "It's getting low."
 * Firepit1.png Fire Pit (embers)- "I should attend to that."
 * Firepit1.png Fire Pit (burned out)- "It's gone cold."
 * Torch.png Torch- "It keeps Charlie at bay."
 * Torch.png Torch (run out)- "Dang it, another light down."
 * Miner Hat.png Miner Hat- "Eventually the firefly will starve."
 * Pumpkin Lantern.png Pumpkin Lantern- "Why hello, Mr. Crane."
 * Lantern.png Lantern- "I hope this keeps Them away."

TabSurvival.pngval

 * Backpack.png Backpack- "I wish there were porters around here."
 * Piggyback.png Piggyback- "Oh that's just demeaning."
 * Bird Trap.png Bird Trap- "They keep falling for it!"
 * Bug Net.png Bug Net- "Good for capturing defenseless insects."
 * Fishing Rod.png Fishing Rod- "I will eat for a lifetime."
 * Straw Roll.png Straw Roll- "I don't like sleeping rough."
 * Fur Roll.png Fur Roll- "At least they're good for something."
 * Tent.png Tent- "That's a bit rustic for my taste."
 * Trap.png Trap- "Only the dumbest animals will fall for this."
 * Healing Salve.png Healing Salve- "Just a bit of venom and some dirty old ash."
 * Honey Poultice.png Honey Poultice- "Sticky and gooey and good for putting on booboos."
 * Heat Stone.png Heat Stone- "A pocketful of heat."
 * Heat Stone Stage 1.png Heat Stone (cold)- "It's useless when cold."
 * Heat Stone Stage 4.png Heat Stone (warm)- "Comfortably warm."
 * Heat Stone Stage 5.png Heat Stone (hot)- " It's almost too hot to hold."
 * Umbrella.png Umbrella- "It's crooked!"
 * Compass.png Compass- This quote is dependent on the orientation of the map. Potential lines include: North, Northeast, East, Southeast, South, Southwest, West, Northwest.

TabFood.png

 * Crock Pot.png Crock Pot- "Just the thought makes my mouth water."
 * Crock Pot.png Crock Pot (cooking, long time left)- "Wait for it..."
 * Crock Pot.png Crock Pot (cooking, short time left)- "Here it comes!"
 * Crock Pot.png Crock Pot (finished)- "Finally, some quality grub."
 * Crock Pot.png Crock Pot (failed to add item)- "That can't go in there."
 * Basic Farm.pngTurbo Farm Plot.png Basic Farm and Improved Farm- "Do I look like a farmer?"
 * Basic Farm.pngTurbo Farm Plot.png Basic Farm and Improved Farm (growing)- "I have better things to do than watch plants grow."
 * Basic Farm.pngTurbo Farm Plot.png Basic Farm and Improved Farm (needs fertilizer)- "It needs to be... refreshed."
 * Ice Box1.png Ice Box- "A little piece of winter in a box."
 * Drying Rack.png Drying Rack- "It can dry meats so that they last longer."
 * Drying Rack.png Drying Rack (drying)- "Still moist."
 * Drying Rack.png Drying Rack (drying in rain) "Moist and staying that way."
 * Drying Rack.png Drying Rack (finished)- "Like the desert."

TabScience.pngce

 * Science Machine.png Science Machine- "I can't believe I forgot how to build those things."
 * Alchemy Engine.png Alchemy Engine- "It unlocks recipes of middling utility."
 * Winterometer1.png Thermal Measurer- "Not the most useful invention, is it?"
 * Rain-o-meter.png Rainometer- "I could also just look up to learn the same thing."
 * Lightning Rod.png Lightning Rod- "A little bit of protection."
 * Lightning Rod.png Lightning Rod (charged)- "Energy flows through it."
 * Gunpowder.png Gunpowder- "Now this, I like."

TabFight.png

 * Spear.png Spear- "It's a spear. Yup."
 * Ham Bat.png Hambat- "An undignified weapon for a less refined time."
 * Boomerang.png Boomerang- "Beats getting your hands dirty."
 * Boomerang.png Boomerang (hit self)- "Ow! Clumsy!"
 * Blow Dart.png Blow Dart- "A glorious tube of pain-giving!"
 * Sleep Dart.png Sleep Dart- "Call me Mr. Sandman."
 * Fire Dart.png Fire Dart- "Just make sure to breathe out."
 * Football Helmet.png Football Helmet- "Now I am ready for the scrimmage."
 * Grass Suit.png Grass Suit- "Direct confrontation is quite gauche."
 * Log Suit.png Log Suit- "Ugh. I'm not one for such vulgar fisticuffs."
 * Marble Suit.png Marble Suit- "That really isn't my style."
 * Bee Mine.png Bee Mine- "They wait so patiently."
 * Tooth Trap.png Tooth Trap- "This one packs a whallop."
 * Shelmet.png Shelmet- "This will keep me standing, if I need to fight."
 * Snurtle Shell Armor.png Snurtle Shell Armor- "That is not dapper at all."

TabStructures.pngtures

 * Bee Box.png Bee Box - "It holds my bees."
 * Bee Box.png Bee Box (no honey)- "My bees are not working hard enough."
 * Bee Box.png Bee Box (some honey)- "I should wait a bit longer."
 * Bee Box.png Bee Box (full with honey)- "So tempting, but so full of bees."
 * Birdcage.png Birdcage- "You'll never get me behind bars again."
 * Birdcage.png Birdcage (occupied)- "I feel for ya, feathers."
 * Birdcage.png Birdcage (occupied, sleeping)- "You'll still be in there when you wake up."
 * Pig House.png Pig House- "That's like their only trick."
 * Pig House.png Pig House (occupied and lights are off)- "I'll huff and I'll puff!"
 * Pig House.png Pig House (occupied and lights are on)- "I'd go inside too, if I was him."
 * Hay Wall.png Hay Wall (item)- "Pocket-sized wall pieces. Yup."
 * HayWallStructure.png Hay Wall- "It's a tinderbox."
 * Wood Wall.png Wood Wall (item)- "Pocket-sized wall pieces. Yup."
 * WoodWallStructure.png Wood Wall- "Moderately tough, but flammable!"
 * Stone Wall.png Stone Wall (item)- "Pocket-sized wall pieces. Yup."
 * StoneWallStructure.png Stone Wall- "This will keep the riff-raff out."
 * Potted Fern.png Potted Fern- "How quaint."
 * Chest1.png Chest- "A place to store loot."
 * Chest1.png Chest (full)- "It's full"
 * Chest1.png Chest (not allowed to store)- "That can't go in there."
 * Home Sign.png Sign- "It says... nothing."

Grass Turf.png

 * Cobblestones.png Cobblestones- "At least this one is useful."
 * Wooden Flooring.png Wooden Flooring- "I prefer hardwoods."
 * Checkerboard Flooring.png Checkerboard Flooring- "That's my natural habitat."
 * Carpeted Flooring.png Carpeted Flooring- "That's a quality, high-pile carpet sample!"
 * Grass Turf.png Grass Turf- "Scratchy."
 * Marsh Turf.png Marsh Turf- "It's dripping all over."
 * Savanna Turf.png Savannah Turf- "Dirty."
 * Forest Turf.png Forest Turf- "Smells like mud."
 * Rocky Turf.png Rocky Turf- "Kinda rough."
 * Fungal Turf.png Fungal Turf- "Turf."
 * Slimey Turf.png Slimy Turf- "Turf."
 * Mud Turf.png Mud Turf- "Turf."
 * Cave Rock Turf.png Cave Rock Turf- "Turf."
 * Guano Turf.png Guano Turf- "Turf."

TabRefine.pnge

 * Rope.png Rope- "You'd think this would have more uses."
 * Boards.png Boards- "Roughly hewn."
 * Cut Stone.png Cut Stone- "The building blocks of civilization."
 * Papyrus.png Papyrus- "A blank canvas."
 * Purple Gem.png Purple Gem- "Purple brings great power."
 * Nightmare Fuel.png Nightmare Fuel- "Ahhh. Refreshing."

TabMagic.png

 * Meat Effigy.png Effigy- "I'm not above using this."
 * Prestihatitator.pngihatitator- "Quite a dapper machine."
 * Shadow Manipulator.pngw Manipulator- "This is where I do my own personal research."
 * Pan Flute.png Flute- "I'm going to sing a song of madness."
 * Night Light1.png Light- "It burns with a beautiful glow."
 * Night Armour.png Armour- "Time to wrap myself in nightmares."
 * Dark Sword.png Sword- "Snicker-snack!"
 * One-man Band.png-man Band- "It has a good beat and you can dance to it."
 * BatBat.png Bat- "Violence has never felt better."
 * Belt of Hunger- "Wet, soggy, and oddly filling."
 * Life Giving Amulet- "It channels the darkest energies of the universe."
 * Chilled Amulet- "It's frosted over."
 * Nightmare Amulet- "It speaks with the shadow."
 * Fire Staff- "A basic enchantment, but effective."
 * Ice Staff- "Cool staff."
 * Telelocator Staff.pngocator Staff- "Power can do amazing things when it's funneled through the right channels."
 * Telelocator Focus.pngocator Focus (charged)- "That should do the trick."
 * Telelocator Focus.pngocator Focus (incomplete)- "The fuel needs more focus points."
 * Telelocator Focus.pngocator Socket (full)- "This one's ready."
 * Telelocator Focus.pngocator Socket (empty)- "The fuel needs a focus."

TabDress.png

 * Sewing Kit- "A fine and noble endeavour."
 * Rabbit Earmuffs- "They are at least warm."
 * Straw Hat- "A hat fit for a peasant."
 * Beefalo Hat- "How unfashionable."
 * Beekeeper Hat- "I'll wear it if I have to."
 * Feather Hat- "I will lure them in with my plumage."
 * Winter Hat- "How disappointingly rustic."
 * Top Hat- "Some fine haberdashery."
 * Dapper Vest- "It's no three-piece, but it's dapper enough."
 * Breezy Vest- "It's more of a fall vest."
 * Puffy Vest- "It's so hard to look fashionable in the winter."
 * Bush Hat- "There's room in there for me."
 * Garland- "Definitely not my style."
 * Walking Cane- "It has pictures of fast things carved into it."

Icon Ancient.pngnt

 * Thulecite- "An exceedingly rare but useful material."
 * Thulecite Wall- "An ancient wall."
 * Thulecite Wall (item)- "Pocket sized wall pieces. Yup."
 * Thulecite Medallion (min)- "The heart of the city is still."
 * Thulecite Medallion (rising low)- "It beats once again."
 * Thulecite Medallion (rising high)- "The pulse is quickening."
 * Thulecite Medallion (max)- "The pulse is holding steady."
 * Thulecite Medallion (receding high)- "The pulse is waning."
 * Thulecite Medallion (receding low)- "It calms once more."
 * Thulecite Medallion (outside ruins)- "The pulse has no influence here."
 * The Lazy Forager- "Simple magic is often the best."
 * Magiluminescence- "This will make me stand out."
 * Construction Amulet- "I swear I don't normally need this."
 * The Lazy Explorer- "I must rely on focusing tools in this form."
 * Star Caller's Staff- "With a bigger gem it would be so much more powerful."
 * Deconstruction Staff- "I must rely on focusing tools in this form."
 * Pick/Axe- "I don't know why I didn't think of this."
 * Thulecite Crown- "Fuel must flow."
 * Thulecite Club- "The fuel runs deep in this."
 * Thulecite Suit- "Thulecite meshes so well with nightmare fuel."
 * Houndius Shootius (item)- "Now I just have to set it up."
 * Houndius Shootius (placed)- "Some of my better work."

Eyeplant.pnge - Plants

 * Evergreen- "I've heard them described as 'piney'."
 * Evergreen (chopped)- "That's not about to grow back."
 * Evergreen (burning)- "Oops."
 * Evergreen (burnt)- "Bathed in fire."
 * Lumpy Evergreen- "It looks sickly."
 * Lumpy Evergreen (chopped)- "I put it out of it's misery."
 * Lumpy Evergreen (burning)- "Oops."
 * Lumpy Evergreen (burnt)- "Dust to dust."
 * Log- "It's a piece of wood. What more is there to say?"
 * Log (burning)- "Well. That was fun while it lasted."
 * Charcoal- "Nothing will steal my carbon!"
 * Pine Cone- "A more outdoorsy type might be able to make something of this."
 * Pine Cone (planted)- "Huh, it seems to belong in the ground."
 * Spiky Tree- "A tree with a foul demeanor."
 * Spiky Tree (chopped)- "Tree 0, Maxwell 1."
 * Spiky Tree (burning)- "There it goes."
 * Spiky Tree (burnt)- "It's no use to anyone now."
 * Marble Tree- "How whimsical."
 * Totally Normal Tree- "It's got a face."
 * Living Log- "I like the noise they make when you burn them."
 * Sapling- "A supple, woody stem."
 * Sapling (picked)- "It'll grow back."
 * Sapling (burning)- "Oops."
 * Sapling (item)- "Do I look like a gardener?"
 * Twigs- "Common, but useful."
 * Grass Tuft- "Tufty."
 * Grass Tuft (picked)- "Nothing to harvest."
 * Grass Tuft (barren)- "Needs manure."
 * Grass Tuft (burning)- "Oops."
 * Grass Tuft (item)- "Do I look like a gardener?"
 * Cut Grass- "The mundane stuff of the earth."
 * Berry Bush- "Reduced to eating berries. Sigh."
 * Berry Bush (picked)- "And now we wait."
 * Berry Bush (barren)- "It needs manure."
 * Berry Bush (burning)- "Reduced to eating berries. Sigh."
 * Berry Bush (item)- "Do I look like a gardener?"
 * Reeds- "There's wind in them there willows."
 * Reeds (picked)- "No more tubes."
 * Reeds (burning)- "Oops."
 * Cut Reeds- "I think I could build something useful from this."
 * Crop- "That is a generic plant."
 * Crop (growing)- "It's growing."
 * Crop (ready to be picked)- "It's ready."
 * Pond Plant- "What a generic little plant."
 * Spiky Bush- "It's twisted and thorny, just like me!"
 * Spiky Bush (after picking)- "That was painful."
 * Spiky Bush (burning)- "I should ask it questions."
 * Flower- "I am filled with the irrational urge to stomp upon it."
 * Petals- "Like so much confetti."
 * Evil Flower- "I like that flower."
 * Dark Petals- "It's dripping with nightmare essence."
 * Red Mushroom (unpicked)- "It's a red mushroom."
 * Red Mushroom (unpicked, sleeping)- "I'll have to come back for it."
 * Red Mushroom (picked)- "It's all used up."
 * Green Mushroom (unpicked)- "Green fungus."
 * Green Mushroom (unpicked, sleeping)- "When do those ones come up?"
 * Green Mushroom (picked)- "Been there. Done that."
 * Blue Mushroom (unpicked)- "The blue ones are good for something."
 * Blue Mushroom (unpicked, sleeping)- "It's not ready."
 * Blue Mushroom (picked)- "Another time, maybe?"

Harp Statue.pnge - Objects

 * Bee Hive- "Not the bees!"
 * Killer Bee Hive- "That looks dangerous."
 * Honeycomb- "It's full of bee seeds."
 * Hound Mound- "It's a tunnel down to the hound nests."
 * Bone- "Hungry devils, aren't they?"
 * Touch Stone- "There's a story behind that..."
 * Harp Statue- "Not my best work."
 * Marble Pillar- "I've always wondered who built those."
 * Marble- "It's strong stuff."
 * Rundown House- "They copied the pigs, but they're even less intelligent."
 * Merm Head- "The eyes follow you around."
 * Pig Head- "Er... charming."
 * Pig Torch- "Great. Now they have fire."
 * Basalt Boulder- "I made a rock so heavy that I can't lift it."
 * Boulder- "It's a rock."
 * Rocks- "Hmmm. Now what do I do with them?"
 * Flint- "Ow! I cut my finger!"
 * Nitre- "One third of the way there..."
 * Gold Nugget- "This was important to me once."
 * Headstone (1)- "It says milk. Eggs. Bacon."
 * Headstone (2)- "Here lies some guy. Blah blah blah."
 * Headstone (3)- "Hey, that's my name!"
 * Headstone (4)- "This headstone is blank."
 * Grave- "What lies beneath?"
 * Grave (dug)- "Already got that one."
 * Suspicious Dirt Pile- "That looks out-of-place."
 * Animal Tracks- "Some dumb beast passed through here."
 * Animal Tracks (lost its trail)- "Drat! It got away."
 * Animal Tracks (found)- "I smell dung and beast-sweat."
 * Wooden Thing- "My beautiful machine is in pieces!"
 * Wooden Thing (partially assembled)- "It is still incomplete."
 * Wooden Thing (fully assembled)- "It's alive!"
 * Ring Thing- "This is the quantum field guard band."
 * Crank Thing- "This is used to agitate the humours."
 * Box Thing- "This is a box full of sadness and woe."
 * Metal Potato Thing- "The gears in here are so small they turn the fabric of reality."
 * Wormhole (closed)- "It's worse knowing what the other part looks like."
 * Wormhole (open)- "I can assure you that it smells worse than it looks."
 * Wormhole (exited)- "Yech. It's horrible in there."
 * Pond- "I can see my face reflected off the top."
 * Skeleton- "Ha! I remember that one."
 * Spider Den- "They grow big here."
 * Spider Egg- "Squishy."
 * Rabbit Hole- "There's a world going on under there."
 * Walrus Camp- "The Walrusser can't be far."
 * Walrus Camp (Summer)- "I best not linger when winter comes."

CaveEntrance1.pnge - Caves

 * Sinkhole.png Sinkhole (plugged)- "I plugged it a long time ago."
 * Sinkhole.png Sinkhole (unplugged)- "That was not a good idea!"
 * Rope to Surface- "Get me out of here!"
 * Mushtree.png Blue Mushtree- "It smells of rot and failure."
 * Red Mushtree- "Where's Waldo?"
 * Green Mushtree- "Ugh, it smells bad."
 * Light Flower- "It's so dark down here."
 * Light Bulb- "It will run out eventually."
 * Stalagmite- "Rocks. How dull."
 * Stalagmite (pointy)- "Stalagmite. How dull."
 * Spilagmite- "How did that get down here?"
 * Slurtle Mound- "That's revolting."
 * Rabbit Hutch- "Oh, isn't that clever."
 * Splumonkey Pod- "What a disgusting home."
 * Fern- "I'd like to step on it."
 * Foliage- "A meal fit for a peasant."
 * Cave Banana Tree- "It looks like a banana, but I'm not buying it."

Thulecite Fragments.pnge - Ruins

 * Ancient Statue- "A once proud race."
 * Ancient Pseudoscience Station (broken)- "This can be partially restored."
 * Ancient Pseudoscience Station (repaired)- "Where are their gods now?"
 * Algae- "It's some algae."
 * Broken Clockworks- "Mechanical refuse."
 * Relic- "Remnants of an extinct civilization."
 * Relic (broken)- "Just bits and pieces of rock" [sic]
 * Thulecite Fragments- "I could combine several piles to make a bigger piece."
 * Cave Lichen- "This fungus survived the downfall."
 * Ornate Chest- "It's a trap."
 * Nightmare Light- "The over-use of fuel was their downfall."

Spider.png - Monsters

 * Clockwork Knight- "Such quality worksmanship!"
 * Clockwork Bishop- "I'm especially proud of that piece."
 * Clockwork Rook- "A castle for my home."
 * Damaged Knight- "It looks beyond repair."
 * Damaged Bishop- "They degrade without proper upkeep."
 * Damaged Rook- "The builders have left it in a state of abandonment."
 * Charlie (the darkness monster)- "Charlie? It's me! Maxwell!"
 * Charlie (attacked by)- "Ow! Charlie, that hurt!"
 * Hound- "They don't recognise me!"
 * Red Hound- "I put fire gems in there as a joke."
 * Blue Hound- "I had a lot of surplus gems!"
 * Hound's Tooth- "It could be used for fashion."
 * Spider- "It's mostly digestive system."
 * Spider (sleeping)- "Shhhh! It will wake up hungry."
 * Spider (dead)- "Splat."
 * Spider Warrior- "It's a specialized form."
 * Spider Warrior (sleeping)- "I don't want to wake that one."
 * Spider Warrior (dead)- "Splat."
 * Spider Gland- "Distasteful."
 * Silk- "Despite it's origin, it could make some fine garments."
 * Krampus- "You won't catch me!"
 * Krampus Sack- "It's really light."
 * Merm- "They were here when I got here."
 * Tentacle- "I'm glad the rest of it is still down there."
 * Tentacle Spike- "Ugh. This is so revolting."
 * Tentacle Spots- "This is how they reproduce."
 * Big Tentacle- "This one is odd."
 * Big Tentacle (underground)- "How deep does this go?"
 * Baby Tentacle- "Babies?"
 * Pig Guard- "Blech. Disgusting brute"
 * Werepig- "That one's gone feral."
 * Ghost- "It remembers me!"
 * MacTusk- "Don't you recognise me?."
 * Wee MacTusk- "A chip off the old block."
 * Walrus Tusk- "I'll put this to better use."
 * Tam o' Shanter- "Made in Scotland."
 * Mosquito- "Bloody blood sucking blood suckers."
 * Mosquito (picked up)- "I got him."
 * Mosquito Sack- "A bloody sack. With blood in it."
 * Nearby Mosquitoes- "What annoying little bugs."
 * Cave Spider- "It's a tricky one."
 * Spitter- "Agressive little thing, isn't it?" [sic]
 * Batilisk- "Ugh. Ugly beasts."
 * Snurtle- "That's strange. They must be new."
 * Slurtle- "I don't remember those..."
 * Slurtle Slime- "There must be a better way."
 * Broken Shell- "They don't fit back together."
 * Lureplant- "A vicious plant."
 * Fleshy Bulb- "Perhaps I can use this to my advantage."
 * Eye Plant- "The Meat Bulb's pawns."
 * Slurper- "Simple creatures. They exist only to sleep and feed."
 * Dangling Depth Dweller- "Creatures in this world evolve at a terrifying rate."
 * Depths Worm (emerged)- "Well that's new!"
 * Depths Worm (lure)- "You aren't fooling me, plant."
 * Depths Worm (burrowed)- "Something stirs."

Pig.png - Neutral Animals

 * Beefalo- "Just look at that stupid beast."
 * Beefalo (sleeping)- "It's only marginally less stupid when it's asleep."
 * Beefalo (following)- "Aw nuts, it's following me."
 * Beefalo (shaved)- "Now it looks dumb AND pathetic."
 * Baby Beefalo- "They're even ugly as children."
 * Beefalo Wool- "It smells like a barn."
 * Beefalo Horn- "Call forth the beasts!"
 * Bee- "They work so hard, the fools."
 * Bee (picked up)- "Now what do I do with it?"
 * Killer Bee- "What is that bee so angry about?"
 * Killer Bee (picked up)- "I've caught a tiger by the tail."
 * Stinger- "It's dripping with venom."
 * Pig- "What a slobbering fool."
 * Pig (following)- "He's simple but he's mine."
 * Pig (dead)- "What a slobbering fool."
 * Pig Skin- "It was him or me."
 * Bunnyman- "It reminds me of my old act."
 * Beardlord- "It reminds me of my old act."
 * Bunny Puff- "Silly rabbit."
 * Frog- "It jumps and licks things."
 * Frog (sleeping)- "It looks tired."
 * Frog (dead)- "It croaked."
 * Koalefant- "A distant cousin of the beefalo."
 * Winter Koalefant- "It has its winter coat on."
 * Rock Lobster- "I banished these guys down here for a reason."
 * Pengull- "Nice tux."
 * Splumonkey- "I don't have time for you!"

Chester.png - Passive Animals

 * Butterfly.png Butterfly- "It's a flying flower."
 * Butterfly.png Butterfly (picked up)- "It would be a shame if someone ripped the wings off of it."
 * Crow.png Crow- "I don't know how they got here."
 * Crow.png Crow (picked up)- "Shhhh... My pretty."
 * Jet Feather.png Jet Feather- "Black is the colour of sleep."
 * Redbird.png Redbird- "The redbird comes from the fire lands."
 * Redbird.png Redbird (picked up)- "Silence, bird!"
 * Crimson Feather.png Crimson Feather- "Red is the colour of fire."
 * Snowbird.png Snowbird- "I don't recognise that one."
 * Snowbird.png Snowbird (picked up)- "Quiet, you."
 * Snowbird Feather.png Azure Feather- "Grey is the colour of pain."
 * Gobbler.png Gobbler- "It is addicted to fermented berries."
 * Chester.png Chester- "Annoying little monster. Has his uses, though."
 * Eye Bone.png Eye Bone (open)- "Stop looking at me!"
 * Eye Bone.png Eye Bone (closed)- "What is it waiting for?"
 * Eye Bone.png Eye Bone (ashes)- "Don't worry. There will be more Chesters."
 * Rabbit.png Rabbit- "I've been here too long - it actually looks tasty."
 * Rabbit.png Rabbit (picked up)- "Don't worry, rabbit. Everything is under control."
 * Beardling.png Beardling- "I've been here too long - it actually looks tasty."
 * Beardling.png Beardling (picked up)- "Don't worry, rabbit. Everything is under control."
 * Fireflies.png Fireflies- "How pretty."
 * Fireflies.png Fireflies (picked up)- "I could squish them if I wanted to."
 * Mandrake Mob.png Mandrake - "Oh shut UP, will you?"
 * Mandrake Mob.png Mandrake (following)- "What a disturbing root."
 * Mandrake.png Mandrake (dead)- "My ears are still ringing."
 * Cooked Mandrake.png Mandrake (cooked)- "It has lost a lot of its power."
 * Mandrake.png Mandrake (knock out effect)- "Ugh. My head hurts."

Smallbird.png - Tallbird family

 * Tallbird- "These were a failed experiment."
 * Tallbird Nest (empty)- "It's made of dirty beefalo hair."
 * Tallbird Nest (with egg)- "Well. That's tempting."
 * Tallbird Egg- "Tallbirds are territorial because of these things."
 * Tallbird Egg (cooked)- "It tastes like broken dreams."
 * Hatching Tallbird Egg- "We've got a live one here."
 * Hatching Tallbird Egg (long time left) "It's going to be a while."
 * Hatching Tallbird Egg (short time left) "Any moment now..."
 * Hatching Tallbird Egg (too hot)- "Hot enough for ya?"
 * Hatching Tallbird Egg (too cold)- "It's getting tepid."
 * Hatching Tallbird Egg (eating the egg)- "That tastes about as good as you'd expect."
 * Smallbird- "What!? What do you want?"
 * Smallbird (hungry)- "You want some food?"
 * Smallbird (starving)- "He's so hungry!"
 * Smallish Tallbird- "It's less cute now that it's grown up."
 * Smallish Tallbird (hungry)- "They sure do eat a lot."
 * Smallish Tallbird (starving)- "A hungry beast is a dangerous beast."
 * Smallish Tallbird (pecked by)- "Have patience!"

Ancient Guardian.png - Bosses

 * Treeguard- "Disgusting creature!"
 * Spider Queen- "Maybe I'll just get out of her way."
 * Spider Hat- "Spiders have such malleable wills."
 * Deerclops- "Even I am afraid of that guy."
 * Deerclops Eyeball- "Deerclops are myopic."
 * Ancient Guardian- "My my, the fuel has changed you."
 * Guardian's Horn- "I'm sorry I had to do that, old friend."

Abigail build.png - Other

 * Maxwell- "Looking good!"
 * Pig King- "That's a man with his priorities in order!"
 * Wes (trapped)- "He displeased me."
 * Abigail- "Why won't these mortals just stay dead?"

Meat.png - Meats

 * Bird Egg- "I like to think of it as baby bird prison."
 * Bird Egg (cooked)- "Sunny side up."
 * Monster Meat- "How revolting."
 * Cooked Monster Meat- "I'll eat it if I have to."
 * Meat- "I'm used to much finer fare."
 * Cooked Meat- "It smells less like barnyard, now."
 * Leafy Meat- "A feeble attempt to trick the weaker minded."
 * Cooked Leafy Meat- "The heat has made this a suitable meal."
 * Jerky (all kinds)- "My teeth are getting too old for this."
 * Drumstick- "It tastes strangely like berries."
 * Fried Drumstick- "Still tastes like berries."
 * Fish- "Fresh from the murky depths."
 * Cooked Fish- "It still stinks."
 * Eel- "They only exsist in the depths." [sic]
 * Cooked Eel- "It will have to do."
 * Morsel- "This is barely a mouthful."
 * Cooked Morsel- "Well, at least it's not moving any more."
 * Koalefant Trunk- "Full of summer mucus."
 * Winter Koalefant Trunk- "The trunk thickens in the winter to hold more mucus."
 * Koalefant Trunk Steak- "At least the mucus burned off."
 * Frog Legs- "Muscular."
 * Cooked Frog Legs- "Stringy."
 * Batilisk Wing- "I'm not eating that."
 * Cooked Batilisk Wing- "I'm still not eating that."

Dragon Fruit.png - Fruits

 * Berries- "Sigh. If I have to."
 * Roasted Berries- "A little more refined, at least."
 * Dragon Fruit- "Exotic and delicious."
 * Prepared Dragon Fruit- "A little more refined, at least."
 * Durian- "It's an acquired taste."
 * Extra Smelly Durian- "A little more refined, at least."
 * Pomegranate- "Usually I'd get someone to seed this for me."
 * Sliced Pomegranate- "A little more refined, at least."
 * Cave Banana- "Like ashes in my mouth."
 * Cooked Banana- "Even worse than raw."

Roasted Carrot.png - Vegetables

 * Corn- "High in fructose."
 * Popcorn- "A little more refined, at least."
 * Carrot (planted)- "How mundane."
 * Carrot (picked)- "I'm not a fan of vegetables."
 * Roasted Carrot- "A little more refined, at least."
 * Pumpkin- "Hallowe'en was always my favourite." [sic]
 * Hot Pumpkin- "A little more refined, at least."
 * Eggplant- "Just another boring plant."
 * Braised Eggplant- "A little more refined, at least."
 * Red Cap- "I forget what this one does."
 * Cooked Red Cap- "Kind of bitter."
 * Green Cap- "I should eat it."
 * Cooked Green Cap- "Salty!"
 * Blue Cap- "What could go wrong?"
 * Cooked Blue Cap- "Umami!"
 * Glow Berry- "What a neat trick."
 * Lichen- "Dry, crumbly, sustaining."

Ratatouille.png - Crock Pot

 * Turkey Dinner- "How festive."
 * Powdercake- "What foul product of science is this?"
 * Wet Goop- "My compliments to the chef!"
 * Most recipes- "My compliments to the chef!"

Rot.png - Other

 * Seeds- "I suppose these won't plant themselves."
 * Roasted Seeds- "I broiled the life out of 'em."
 * Seeds (specific)- "This labour is beneath me."
 * Honey- "Sticky and sweet."
 * Butterfly Wings- "Ha ha ha. I got him!"
 * Butter- "Some puns are irresistible."
 * Rot- "That used to be food until I wasted it."
 * Rotten Egg- "Disgusting. Why am I carrying this around?"

Trinkets.png Items

 * Blueprint- "I know all about that. I just forgot."
 * Gears- "My pets! What has become of you?"
 * Ash- "A fine powder that smells of destruction."
 * Red Gem- "Red brings fire."
 * Blue Gem- "Blue brings ice."
 * Yellow Gem- "I can feel the magic in this."
 * Green Gem- "The nightmare fuel will unlock its true potential."
 * Orange Gem- "This will be quite powerful with some fuel."
 * Beard Hair- "Hirsute."
 * Manure- "It's the way of all mortal life."
 * Guano- "Disgusting!"
 * Melty Marbles- "This was important to someone once."
 * Fake Kazoo- "This was important to someone once."
 * Gord's Knot- "This was important to someone once."
 * Gnome- "This was important to someone once."
 * Tiny Rocketship- "This was important to someone once."
 * Frazzled Wires- "This was important to someone once."
 * Ball and Cup- "This was important to someone once."
 * Hardened Rubber Bung- "This was important to someone once."
 * Mismatched Buttons- "This was important to someone once."
 * Second-hand Dentures- "This was important to someone once."
 * Lying Robot- "This was important to someone once."
 * Dessicated Tentacle- "This was important to someone once."
 * Codex Umbra- "I'm so sorry Charlie."
 * Codex Umbra (Not enough fuel)- "I need some nightmare fuel."
 * Codex Umbra (Not enough sanity)- "I have a headache!"

Nighthand.pngture Mode

 * Skeleton1.png(Failed)- "I of all people should be able to do this."
 * Obelisk.png Obelisk (Sanity, down)- "It only half-exists on this plane"
 * Obelisk.png Obelisk (Insanity, up)- "I can see its true nature now!"
 * Obelisk.png Obelisk (Sanity, up)- "I can see its true nature now!"
 * Obelisk.png Obelisk (Insanity, down)- "There are two ways to see that obstacle."
 * Divining Rod.pnging Rod (in its starting base)- "The portals lead to the next rod. "
 * Divining Rod.pnging Rod- "I can use this to find my missing parts."
 * Divining Rod.pnging Rod (cold)- "Mostly just background noise."
 * Divining Rod.pnging Rod (warm)- "This is the right direction."
 * Divining Rod.pnging Rod (warmer)- "I should keep my eyes peeled."
 * Divining Rod.pnging Rod (hot)- "It must be right under my nose!"
 * Nightmare Lock.pnging Rod Base- It's the starting mechanism."
 * Nightmare Lock.pnging Rod Base (ready to unlock)- "I need to insert the divining rod."
 * Nightmare Lock.pnging Rod Base (unlocked)- "Progress!"
 * Maxwell's Door.pngll's Door- "So that's where I left that thing!"
 * Gramophone.pngll's Phonograph- "That accursed thing!"
 * Maxwell's Light.png-Maxwell's Light "Aw, it remembers me."
 * Maxwell Statue- "Now that's a fine statue."
 * Maxwell's Tooth Trap.png Maxwell's Tooth Trap- "I'm sure I had my reasons when I placed this."
 * Minetranspattempt2.pngll's Tooth Trap (went off)-
 * Bee Mine (Maxwell's)- "Maybe I shouldn't have put that there."
 * Sick Wormhole.png Wormhole- "It looks ill."
 * Nightmare Lock.pngmare Lock- "It keeps the master in the chair."
 * Nightmare Throne ingame.pngmare Throne- "It's less painful than it looks. Barely."
 * Nightmare Throne ingame.png Character on Nightmare Throne- "Better him than me."
 * Nightmare Throne ingame.pnge Character on Nightmare Throne- "Better her than me."
 * Nightmare Throne ingame.png Character on Nightmare Throne- "Better it than me."

Gramophone.pngncements

 * Generic- "You tell me."
 * Battlecry- "To arms!"
 * Battlecry (prey)- "You look tasty!"
 * Battlecry (pig)- "Brains over brawn!"
 * Leaving combat- "And stay away!"
 * Leaving combat (prey)- "You're not worth my time!"
 * Leaving combat (pig)- "Next time, pig!"
 * Dusk- "It'll be dark soon. Charlie will be waking up."
 * Entering light- "The light is back."
 * Entering darkness- "It's dark! I can't see!"
 * Doing things in the dark- "I can't see in the dark!"
 * Failed to do something- "That didn't work."
 * Failed to craft something- "Er... I can't do that."
 * Trying to sleep during the day- "I can't sleep in the day."
 * Trying to sleep during the day in a cave- "Sleeping now would mess up my sleep schedule!"
 * Trying to sleep when too hungry- "I'm too hungry. I can't sleep."
 * Trying to sleep near monsters- "Not while there's danger afoot!"
 * Activated a Bee Mine- "Killing me won't bring back your honey!"
 * Hounds are coming- "The hounds are growing restless."
 * Deerclops is coming- "I hear one of them coming."
 * Inventory full- "My pockets are full."
 * Hungry- "I am empty inside."
 * Eating- "(Gulp!)"
 * Eating (stale food)- "That was past its due-date."
 * Eating (spoiled food)- "That was putrid."
 * Eating (painful food)- "Ow! That hurt my mouth!"
 * Earthquake- "That rumbling can't be good."

Unimplemented

 * Maxwell Head.pngll Head- "Hey, handsome."
 * Meaty Stew.png Deadly Feast- "It smells... noxious."
 * Skull Chest.png Skull Chest- "That's one snazzy chest."
 * WoodWallStructure.png Wood Wall (burnt)- "Not tough, nor flammable."
 * HayWallStructure.png Hay Wall (burnt)- "I told you so."
 * Wooden Thing (locked)- "Now to turn it on."

Exclusive to PS4

 * Accomploshrine.pngplishment- "I need to pass the time somehow."
 * Accomploshrine.pngplishment completed- "That kinda makes it all worthwhile."

Lights

 * Endothermic Fire - "How comforting."
 * Endothermic Fire (high)- "That will keep Charlie away for now."
 * Endothermic Fire (medium)- "Cold and firey."
 * Endothermic Fire (low)- "It needs fuel."
 * Endothermic Fire (embers)- "I'm going to lose it."
 * Endothermic Fire (out)- "That's not coming back."
 * Endothermic Fire Pit- "A fire pit."
 * Endothermic Fire Pit (high)- "A roaring, cold fire."
 * Endothermic Fire Pit (medium)- "It's cold."
 * Endothermic Fire Pit (low)- "It's getting low."
 * Endothermic Fire Pit (embers)- "I should attend to that."
 * Endothermic Fire Pit (out)- "It's gone warm."
 * Moggles - "No wonder they can dig for hours."

Survival

 * Pretty Parasol- "It's more pretty than dapper."
 * Insulated Pack- "Its contents are hibernating."
 * Luxury Fan- "Is it windy out or is it just my fan?"
 * Thermal Stone- "A pocketful of stone and temperature."
 * Thermal Stone (frozen)- "It's almost too cold to hold."
 * Thermal Stone (cold)- "Pleasantly cool."
 * Thermal Stone (warm)- "Comfortably lukewarm."
 * Thermal Stone (hot)- "It's almost too hot to hold."
 * Tent (burnt)- "That's a bit burned for my taste."
 * Siesta Lean-to- "Rustic, but excellent shade."
 * Siesta Lean-to (night)- "It's sleep-time, not siesta-time."
 * Siesta Lean-to (monsters)- "They're hot on my heels!"
 * Siesta Lean-to (hungry)- "Traditionally, a siesta comes after eating, not before."
 * Siesta Lean-to (in cave)- "It's a bit creepy out for that."
 * Siesta Lean-to (burnt)- "So much for the shade thing."

Food

 * Drying Rack (burnt)- "It's too brittle to hang meat on now."
 * Basic Farm and Improved Farm (burnt)- "A harvest of ashes."
 * Crock Pot (burnt)- "A bit overdone for my tastes."
 * Bucket-o-poop- "Much better than carrying manure in my hands."
 * Bee Box (burnt)- "Honey roasted."

Science

 * Science Machine (burnt)- "The fire learned how to burn it down."
 * Alchemy Engine (burnt)- "Flames have swallowed it whole."
 * Winterometer (burnt)- "Who cares?"
 * Rainometer (burnt)- "The rain did not come in time."
 * Ice Flingomatic (turned off)- "Quiet before the storm."
 * Ice Flingomatic (turned on)- "Begone, fire!"
 * Ice Flingomatic (low fuel)- "Not much fuel left."
 * Electrical Doodad- "I don't understand how it works, but it does."

Fight

 * Scalemail- "That's some fly mail."
 * Morning Star- "Good morning."
 * Weather Pain- "Wind power."

Structures

 * Scaled Chest- "Those scales sure are nifty."
 * Chest (burnt)- "It won't store anything now."
 * Pig House (burnt)- "Let's see you hide in there now."
 * Rabbit House (burnt)- "Cleverness killed the carrot."
 * Sign (burnt)- "Somehow, it says even less now."

Turfs

 * Sandy Turf "Turf."
 * Deciduous Turf- "Turf."

Magic

 * Prestihatitator (burnt)- "It was too hot to handle."
 * Shadow Manipulator (burnt)- "Research complete."
 * Meat Effigy (burnt)- "I won't be using it any longer."
 * Old Bell- "More bell."

Dress

 * Cat Cap- "Dead head."
 * Fashion Melon- "This is one way to keep cool. And sticky."
 * Ice Cube- "Strap some ice on your head."
 * Rain Coat- "Out out, rain!"
 * Rain Hat- "Not the most dapper of hats, but quite necessary."
 * Summer Frest- "Safety before dapperness."
 * Floral Shirt- "The dapperest of them all."
 * Eyebrella- "Eye to the sky."
 * Hibearnation Vest- "See my vest."

Nature - Plants

 * Berry Bush (withered)- "Too hot for that little bush."
 * Sapling (withered)- "Nothing survives in this heat."
 * Grass (withered)- "You'd think grass could withstand this heat..."
 * Crop (withered)- "It wasn't hardy enough for the heat."
 * Birchnut Tree- "I've heard them described as 'leafy'."
 * Birchnut Tree (burning)- "Oops."
 * Birchnut Tree (burnt)- "Bathed in fire."
 * Birchnut Tree (chopped)- "That's not about to grow back."
 * Birchnut- "A more outdoorsy type might be able to make something of this."
 * Birchnut (planted)- "Huh, it seems to belong in the ground."
 * Birchnut (cooked)- "Over an open fire."
 * Cactus- "Puffer plant."
 * Cactus (after picking)- "I scratched my arms up doing that."
 * Cactus (picked)- "Cactus? More like flat-tus!"
 * Tumbleweed- "Tumble on, weed."

Nature - Objects

 * Ice- "Baby glaciers."
 * Mini Glacier- "I could get a chip of ice off the old block."
 * Mini Glacier (melted)- "It's just a puddle."
 * Animal Tracks (spring, lost trail)- "Can't follow it in these conditions!"
 * Burrow- "Burrow deep, I'm coming for you."
 * Collapsed Rabbit Hole- "The entrance has collapsed in on itself."
 * Pig Head (burnt)- "Pig roast!"
 * Rundown House (burnt)- "It burns just as well as the pigs' version."
 * Merm Head (burnt)- "Roasted merm head. Delicious."
 * Catcoon Den- "Vermin housing."
 * Catcoon Den (empty)- "Well, I guess that's that."
 * Glommer Statue- "Hey, that's not a statue of me!"
 * Glommer Statue (mined)- "That'll teach it to not be me."
 * Skeleton (self) - "The master becomes the student."

Mobs - Monsters

 * Warg- "The alpha!"
 * Birchnut Treeguard- "Shut your maw!"
 * Birchnutter- "A nut with legs! How terrifying!"

Mobs - Neutral Animals

 * Buzzard- "Carrion connoisseur."
 * Catcoon- "Catty vermin."
 * Cat Tail- "Tale of tails."
 * Volt Goat- "What's it always chewing on?"
 * Volt Goat (charged)- "Chaaarge!"
 * Volt Goat Horn- "It'd make a nice horn."
 * Electric Milk- "It's charged with nutrients."

Mobs - Passive Animals

 * Glommer- "A flying goop factory."
 * Glommer's Flower- "Flower power."
 * Glommer's Flower (dead)- "Flower power forever."
 * Glommer's Flower (ashes)- "There's always another Glommer."
 * Glommer's Wings- "They're sticky."
 * Glommer's Goop- "Well, that's rank."
 * Moleworm (underground)- "Do you pick up what I'm laying down? Do you dig what I'm burying?"
 * Moleworm (aboveground)- "I'll take that as a yes."
 * Moleworm (held)- "End of the line."

Mobs - Bosses

 * Bearger- "Take anything you want."
 * Bearger Fur- "This would make a nice rug."
 * Moose/Goose- "It's definitely from the North, whatever it is."
 * Moose/Goose Egg- "Ride the lightning, you big egg."
 * Mosling- "That's a fluffy... thing."
 * Down Feather- "I could use a pillow filled with these."
 * Dragonfly- "A fiery fly."
 * Scales- "Fiery."
 * Lava Spit (hot)- "Spitfire."
 * Lava Spit (cool)- "It's cold and dry now."

Mobs - Other

 * Bigfoot- "Now that is surely fuel for nightmares."

Food - Fruits

 * Watermelon- "It's mostly water. Fibrous, sweet water."
 * Watermelon (cooked)- "Grillermelon."

Food - Vegetables

 * Cactus Flesh- "It would be unwise to put that in my mouth."
 * Cooked Cactus Flesh- "Cactus comestible."
 * Cactus Flower- "This part of the cactus is always nice."

Food - Crock Pot

 * Flower Salad- "Leafy goodness."
 * Ice Cream- "Sundae, sundae, sundae!"
 * Melonsicle- "The case is cold on the melon."
 * Trail Mix- "Nuts and berries. No bolts."
 * Spicy Chili- "Hot as heck!"
 * Guacamole- "There's a mole in the mix."

Misc Items

 * Webber's Skull- "Don't think you'll be able to escape that easily."
 * Bone Shards- "Grind them bones."

Announcements

 * Lightning miss- "Can't touch this!"
 * Overheating- "My heart can't stand the heat!"
 * Tree Shelter- "Protect me, tree!"
 * Wetness (low)- "Damp is not dapper."
 * Wetness (medium)- "Water'll ruin a good suit, you know?"
 * Wetness (high)- "I don't think I'll ever be dry again."
 * Wetness (highest)- "Wetter than water itself."
 * Dropping tool while wet- "Slip-sliding away."
 * Smoldering item- "Won't be long before it lights on fire."
 * Burnt- "It burns!"

Trivia

 * Maxwell's quote for a Pig House ("I'll huff and puff!") is a reference to the popular children's story "The Three Little Pigs".
 * "Not the bees!" and "Killing me won't bring back your honey!" are references to a famous Nicholas Cage movie, "The Wicker Man."
 * His quote for a Fishing Rod ("I will eat for a lifetime") is a reference to the, "Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.", saying.
 * His quote for a Dark Sword ("Snicker-snack!") is a reference to the Vorpal Blade in Through The Looking Glass, by Lewis Caroll.
 * His quote for a Bunny Puff ("Silly rabbit.") is a reference to Trix cereal's catchphrase, "Silly rabbit! Trix are for kids!"
 * His quote for Ice Cream ("Sundae, sundae, sundae!") may be a reference to a demolition-derby promoter's typical catchphrase, "Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!"
 * His quote for a Razor ("If only the world had a single neck") is likely a reference to the notorious serial killer Carl Panzram, who when hanged for his crimes in 1930, allegedly spat in the executioner's face and said, "I wish the entire human race had one neck, and I had my hands around it!" Maxwell's quote may also refer to Caligula, who said, "Utinam populus Romanus unam cervicem haberet!" ("Would that the Roman people had but one neck!")
 * His quote for Charcoal ("Nothing will steal my carbon!") may be a reference to the Modest Mouse song "Parting of the Sensory" lyrics: "Some day you will die and/ somehow something's going to steal your carbon."
 * His quote for the Rain Coat ("Out out, rain!") is possibly a reference to the "Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow" passage in Shakespeare's play, Macbeth.
 * His quote for a burning Spiky Bush ("I should ask it questions.") is a reference to the story of Moses and the Burning Bush from the Bible.
 * His quote for a cooked Blue Cap ("Umami!") is Japanese for "savory!".
 * His quote for the Red Mushtree ("Where's Waldo?") is a joke about the colors of Waldo's outfit.
 * His quote for the Old Bell ("More bell.") is a reference to a famous Saturday Night Live sketch, "Needs More Cowbell."